To mom or not to mom

What does it mean to nurture? How grief can shake everything up. Plus, a great sandwich, pearls, and a guide for making tough decisions.

I’ve never wanted kids. Growing up, I dreamed of other stuff—travel, work, marriage, art, cities, homes—but rarely, ever, of being a mom. For me, kids were a “maybe someday” or a “might be nice.” I could see their appeal, but not how they’d fit into my future life.

Even when I got married, kids seemed abstract. “Next year, some day, later on,” I’d tell …